Look, I probably should have told you
this before but you see, well...
insanity runs in my family...
it practically gallops.
Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant)
"Arsenic and Old Lace"
It's been over a month since my last post. That's hard to believe; I guess time really DOES fly when you're having fun. I think I'm finally over the virus that kicked my butt for the past couple of weeks. My fingers are crossed, I'm knocking on wood, and I'm throwing pennies into wishing wells; I'll do whatever other superstitious type stuff I need to if it will help. For those of you who may not know, I have fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia and viruses do not play well together. Fibro is the kid who minds his own business and gets along with everyone, while a virus is the stupid bully that sneaks up and delivers a clobbering punch and then runs away laughing. A virus that knocks you out for a day or two can (and often has) put me in the hospital. So I'm happy that I just felt like crap and slept 20 out of 24 hours every day for about a week. AND woke up exhausted. I hate being sick because that's when I'm at my absolute worst. Not in the whiny, wait on me hand and foot, I feel awful way; it's more like the frantic, got to prove my worth as a human being, I'm probably not really sick anyway scenario. Oh, and let's manically ramp up the job search from full speed ahead to BLAST OFF, just for good measure. Welcome to my life, where I create insane kinds of havoc inside my head. I used to be an optimist. Little Mary Sunshine, always finding the silver lining in any cloud. I want to find that optimism again. I think it must still be somewhere inside, covered by the layers of garbage that's been thrown my way. I've been kicking at that garbage pile for a long time and it does get smaller, but boy, does it stink. Time to open up some windows, clear the air, and kick that garbage to the street.
Laure: I'm so glad to have found your blog. I, too, am a fibro sufferer. Just this week I wrote a blog piece about what I call a fibro smack-down and the challenge of having compassion for my state of health. I am going to enjoy reading your blog on a regular basis. Come check out mine. Keep writing. Peace, YaYa
ReplyDeleteYaYa, I'm so glad you found my blog, too, because I then found yours and I'm now following. Your words inspire me to remember to give myself just a bit of the compassion I so easily give to others. I was diagnosed in 1993, so you'd think in almost 20 years I'd have figured it out, but not so much; I'm a slow learner when fibro is involved. I know this is one of my life lessons but I just wish I had a clue as to what exactly I'm supposed to learn. Or teach. Ahh, the mysteries of life. I look forward to learning more about you and your journey. Peace right back at 'ya.
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